There’s a buildup of adrenaline pulsing through my body.
I feel like punching somebody.
But this doesn’t make sense, because I’m watching an inspiring TEDx video of Dan Millman, the author of one of my favourite books, that was turned into a movie called “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior.”
Irony much?
Dan’s “Hero’s Journey” was from being a professional athlete, to having his leg bones shattered in an accident, to his process of awakening and transformation during rehab.
Inspiring right? But I’m not inspired…or peaceful. I’m royally pissed. And since I know I have no reason to be mad at him, I must be mad at myself.
I sit down and allow the feeling to expand in my body to see what kinds of thoughts it brings up.
Here’s what I find kicking around:
Oh.
Well. I know the answer to that.
I’m scared.
“Rejection” is the boogey man in the closet for me. Maybe you’ve met him too. When he shows up, you get that choking sensation in your throat, all your eloquence and great ideas disappear into thin air, and you’re left grasping for words—any words—to communicate what you wanted to say.
Then you get mad at yourself for being afraid.
You know what I’m talking about. There’s something you want to be doing. On some level you know you can do it. But fear is paralyzing you. Yet, you can’t stand to see anyone else doing that thing you know you want to be doing, because it’s almost like they’re slapping you in the face.
There’s them: Making shit happen.
Then there’s you: Struggling. Frustrated. Afraid.
Does this mean you should hole up and feel sorry for yourself? Or tell yourself to “get real” because (insert impressive-sounding excuse here)?
Hell no. It means you should listen to your Inner Compass.
The Lesson
We all have an Inner Compass called “Emotions”, and this can guide us directly to aligning with our True Self to live our purpose and Hero’s Journey. In everyday speak that translates into “the most awesome, fun, fulfilling life you can possibly live.”
Envy, and the resulting anger we feel, can show us when there is something we really want to do, but we’re too afraid to do it.
That fear is a very dependable sign that your compass is saying: “Hello! Go this way please! Trust me!”
Yes, it’s telling you to walk towards the thing you fear!
“Wait a minute”, you’re thinking. “That doesn’t make sense. If my compass is saying ‘go this way’, why wouldn’t I feel excited?”
Because of your False Self–your survival or “lizard brain”–which is all about keeping things exactly as they are now. All change is dangerous to this part. So when the “alarm” goes off–Danger! You’re contemplating doing something new!–you can see it for what it is…a false alarm. And you can inch forward anyway.
That’s what I’m doing. (I’m finally working on my second book. My first was all about me learning how to NOT take those fear and doom thoughts seriously, while travelling solo across Asia for seven months. Something I’m apparently still working on.).
I highly recommend you inch forward too.
People who do big things often feel anxious, afraid and unsure of whether they’ll work out. But they go forward anyway, because they understand that the way to get better at doing those things is to try, make mistakes and learn from them.
No matter how loud that alarm is, use your Inner Compass to help you inch forward every day toward aligning with your True Self!
The Tip
When you feel envy (and the connected emotions of anger and fear), recognize that this is your Inner Compass guiding you toward what you really want to do, be or experience next. The only thing holding you back is that you are taking your “fear” alarm too seriously. It’s a false alarm. Feeling uncomfortable and awkward cannot physically hurt you.
Wait!
My Inner Mentor has something it wants to say to me before I sign off.
No biggie, Shawn, just wanted to make sure you were taking in what you wrote for all your nice readers here. …the whole “Feeling uncomfortable and awkward cannot physically hurt you”, right?
Sigh.
No, I guess not.
P.S. Here’s a fear that can actually help you! The author interviewed more than a hundred successful people to ask them what they feared most. This is what they said.
P.P.S. If you liked this post, please share it! Even better, let me know in the comments section, and/or share your own creative approaches to dealing with emotional flooding.
Rise up and shine as your Self,
Shawn xo
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