Last week while I was working at my desk, I turned around to watch a chickadee taking a bath on our condo balcony—I bribe them with food and water to visit me. Because… so adorable! It’s like having pet birds, except they’re free to be themselves and enjoy their lives.
Anyway, when I turned back to face my computer, a muscle was pinched, or pulled. At first it was just uncomfortable, but as the day wore on it got worse.
The following morning, it was excruciating. I could not lean on the left side of my body or raise my arms to brush my hair. I even had to get my partner to undress me—and it wasn’t sexy. It was scary.
But because I have come to understand that every experience is a gift of some kind, even when we feel like it’s a form of punishment—I sat in meditative inquiry, asking my higher self…
“What’s the gift here; what is this teaching me?”
(Of course, not all experiences are lessons; sometimes they just add depth and nuance to who we are and how we show up in the world.)
In this case, I was shown the words “pain, pain, pain, pain.” It took me a few minutes to clue into what that was. Then I remembered. I’ve been rereading Brene Brown’s book “Daring Greatly” (because she’s a living example of what it looks like to show up as yourself, in all your imperfect glory…and she makes me laugh out loud!).
She shared a story that whenever a friend of hers feels flooded with shame, she just says “pain, pain, pain, pain” and somehow that pulls her out of the downward spiral. Because I’m a sucker for any new tool, I decided to try this out—not just with shame, but with all uncomfortable and painful emotions.
Now you have to understand the way I work. When I do anything, I’m all in. That’s why I’m so careful about what I choose to join or participate in. I am incapable of half-assing something without feeling icky. Excellence is one of my top three values.
So for two days straight, I’d been repeating “pain, pain, pain, pain” to myself whenever I observed any sad or uncomfortable feelings coming up. And I had noticed that it did break the spell and create more awareness.
Thoughts are Things
However, as Mike Dooley famously says “thoughts are things”. Words have power. They create. In the old days, when someone put a “curse” on you, all it meant was that someone (who believed in the power of words) said bad things would happen to you. And they would often add some symbolic action to this, like lighting a candle and burning your hair in it, which would add more energetic momentum to the power of these words.
Now, as a kid you probably heard or used the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
There is truth in this, but there’s a catch.
If you believe those words, even a tiny bit, even on a subconscious level, they will hurt you. They can alter the entire course of your life and stunt your potential. Most people on the planet right now are hindered by such magic spells.
Here’s what I mean. Say a parent, who’s tired after a long day at work, turns to his/her child and snaps “What’s wrong with you? Are you stupid?”
That’s a magic spell, because it’s delivered by an authority figure in whom the child must rely on to survive. That child will believe and trust what this person says, even if it feels wrong or makes no sense to them. The adult will forget about it; think nothing of it.
But on a deep, subconscious level, that child will now believe:
a) There is something wrong with me.
b) I am stupid.
This will create a split in his/her mind, between what is true (I am perfect as I am) and this new spell that twists that truth (I am not perfect as I am; I have to figure out what I need to do/be to be acceptable to others).
The Reminder Lessons For Me:
- Words are magic spells; be careful how you use them.
- The more you believe in the power of words (or believe that the person speaking those words has some power/authority), the faster it manifests. As a medium who seen these sorts of tools completely transform my clients’ lives, and my own life, my beliefs are strong. It’s also worth noting that our subconscious has beliefs that we may not be aware of, and those beliefs are manifesting experiences for us too (subconscious beliefs can also work against us manifesting certain things we consciously really want).
Not coincidentally, I’ve also been rereading (the mystic) Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” (which has sold over 5 million copies, and if you haven’t read it yet, you should) and it talks about this extensively.
The first agreement is…
“Be impeccable with your word. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
This isn’t just moral advice. This is a secret recipe for how to create more joy, more momentum and less struggle in your life.
A New Strategy
After realizing that this experience was a reminder for me to be careful how I use the magic power of words, I immediately changed my strategy.
Now when I’m feeling something uncomfortable I just say “noticing, noticing, noticing” instead of “pain, pain, pain”. It’s more neutral and achieves the same goal—bringing my awareness to what I’m feeling, which creates a zoom out effect so I’m not identifying with it. I follow that up by saying kind and supportive things to my Self.
I also began dedicating time every day to picturing myself being able to move freely again—even dancing around with joy in my imagination (because visualization also has power).
And saying “thank you” often throughout the day for the little things I appreciate and enjoy—like birds singing on my balcony, and that first sip of morning coffee, and my computer, which allows me to connect with you and share my experiences and hard-won wisdom.
For extra healing power, I threw in a little something I learned from Neale Donald Walsch (author of Conversations With God). Every time I felt the pain I’d say: “Thank you for the treasure inside this gift.”
Within a couple days, an acquaintance contacted me and suggested I visit an osteopath—something I’ve never tried before. And it wasn’t a cheap option.
But I know, from experience, that once I set an intention and visualize it, I need to follow up on any signs I receive and take action. So I went.
That was a few days ago, and now my pain is about 60% better, which is significant. Now I can at least dress myself.
(So yeah, besides paying attention to your thoughts, if you have pain, it’s worth checking out an osteopath!)
Here’s a fun exercise if you want to play with this:
- Pay close attention to the words you’re using (both thinking and speaking).
- Write your observations daily in a notebook. (What are the predominant words you are habitually using?)
- Try cutting back on negative words and phrases, and add in some new positive words and phrases; make a game out of seeing how often you can think and speak them.
- Track any changes that occur in your life, including shifts in how you feel. If you don’t track your life experiments you won’t know what’s working the best for you.
Try it out and let me know what happens in the comments below or on my Facebook page!
Rise up and shine as your True Self,
Shawn xo
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