Ugh.
That’s the feeling when you know there’s something you want to do, but you’re not doing it.
I know it well.
But why aren’t you (we?) doing it?
Well, duh. Fear of failure, right? Isn’t that the bogeyman in the closet that keeps all us adults awake at night?
Sometimes. But that’s usually just a cover for the real fear.
Success.
“Bullshit,” you say. “I definitely want success, not failure.”
Well, hear me out. Consciously you believe you want success, but subconsciously most of us prefer failure because it feels safer, and we crave safety above all things. We’re just programmed that way.
“C’mon,” you say. “What could be safe about failure? I hate failure! You’re sooo wrong. I’d love to succeed for once!”
Yep, I hear you. But we still subconsciously prefer failure over success. Because failure means we can go back to our same old life and not change or risk anything.
It’s also a free permission slip to get positive attention from other people, and we all love attention. As a bonus, we get to feel sorry for ourselves and stuff our face with carbs, or indulge in some self-righteous anger, while complaining happily to our friends on the phone.
Failure feels comfortable and familiar, like a warm, albeit heavy, blanket, which we can use to hide from the discomfort and awkwardness of change.
Ahhh so safe.
Whereas success…?
That’s the stuff of real nightmares.
If we get for ourselves all that we truly dream of—success that feels aligned with who we are and what we really care about—our lives will be very different from what they are now, and the primitive part of our brain (connected with our False Self) believes that different means dangerous.
Here’s what this part of your brain will throw at you the minute you start considering taking steps toward big dreams:
Oh no, this is too dangerous. Besides it’s not realistic. You have to be rational. These things almost never work out for anyone. And that one guy it did work out for, I’m sure he was lying.
Besides, your friends might feel jealous or threatened by you doing something so new and different, and reject you. And that would suck.
Your enemies will have a field day; they’ll make memes about you and, with your luck, they’ll go viral.
Your family will probably think you’re full of yourself or selfish doing something this big, and you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. Or, worse, you’ll disappoint them. Besides, you may have to travel more or be away from them and they’d hate that.
Anyway it probably IS selfish for you to do this. I mean people are dying in wars right now out there—somewhere—what right do you have to go after success? If you’re going to go and do something big, you should be volunteering with orphans in a developing country.
Or at the very least, you should just use less resources, I mean with climate change and all that, right? Which is easier if you just keep doing what you’re doing now because, If you don’t have more success, you won’t have more money, so you won’t be tempted to become some greedy, jet-setting, socialite asshole. Who wants that?
If you are successful at going after these so-called dreams of yours, you’ll also be more visible, so for sure people will judge you behind your back, and probably to your face too. You’re too sensitive for that. You’ll just end up freaking out on them on Twitter, and that would be ugly.
Also really successful people have to be all responsible and shit. Who needs that? People will expect more from you, like way more. What if you can’t live up to that? You already know you won’t live up to that, so why bother trying?
Yeah, this going after your dreams thing is not a good idea. You don’t even care that much about it. Sure you’re overworked and underpaid, but that’s the way it is for everyone. And you like your work…sometimes. Well…occasionally.
Anyway, at least you know where you stand with your life right now, and that’s way better than taking a chance on the unknown…even if it might be better, because it probably won’t be.
Gah!
Our brain is hardwired to resist change. That’s just part of being human. And so the first step toward doing anything new and different needs to be acknowledging this truth and preparing for it.
Point being, you’re going to need a plan, and that plan should include support and tools that can help you get up and dust yourself off after you slam headlong into this inner resistance.
Ouch!
Best to avoid that.
Shameless plug (well, it is my blog, after all): you can hire someone like me to provide guidance from your own spirit. It can tell you exactly what your blocks are and how to get around them. And you can’t hide anything from your own spirit; it sees right through you. (There’s a spiritual joke in there somewhere, ya?)
And/or you can chip away at those fears yourself using a free online tool called EFT (emotional freedom technique or “tapping”).
I highly recommend tapping along with Brad Yates, with whom I have no affiliation, so I don’t benefit in any way from you using his videos, except for the joy of knowing you will now be more free to live your dreams.
Which, by the way, is exactly what motivates me to keep writing this blog, even though I’ve been so busy lately with clients, it’s getting challenging to keep up (but, trust me, I’m not complaining)! Case in point, I’m doing my final edit on this post at 2:40 am Friday morning—I usually send out my newsletter on Fridays.
Regardless of whether you believe in EFT or not, if you want to experience more authentic success (without getting sabotaged by the primitive part of your brain), just do these and see what happens. You don’t have to believe in it for it to work.
Be sure to do each one three times to get the full effect, in the exact order listed below. Why? Well, because I did exactly that, then received a miracle. Coincidence? You tell me.
My Miracle: When I stepped outside our apartment’s lobby, I found a monthly TTC pass sitting at my feet, with no name on it. This was especially amazing, because just five minutes earlier I’d realized I was out of tokens. (I used it for that day then tracked down the super-grateful owner via our condo’s Facebook group, because I wanted to share the magic by returning it!)
Your Free EFT Magic Making, Inner-Resistance Clearing Videos:
Try them (and, remember, do them three times each; once won’t be enough to clear anything), and let me know in the comments below if you experience any miracles. ;)
And if you want to keep on clearing beliefs you don’t need anymore, here’s Brad’s Youtube Channel.
You’re welcome.
Rise up and shine as your True Self,
Shawn xo
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