Last night I had dinner with three kick-ass entrepreneurial women friends, and it reminded me of a simple fact that I often forget.
We’re all terrified when we do new things.
I thought it was just me. (Sound familiar?)
But given what I know about the mind, it makes sense.
Whenever you do something new your brain will set off the “Oh my god you’re doing something new (and therefore potentially dangerous)” alarm. The trick is learning not to take this alarm too seriously.
That ain’t easy. Because you feel it as an intense emotional vibration in the body, which you may recognize as panic or anxiety. And it feels really IMPORTANT.
But here’s the thing.
Most joy and satisfaction in life requires doing things that push our boundaries of what we think is possible for us. Expansion is the primary desire of your True Self.
Let me be clear, though.
Doing things that scare you doesn’t make you more valuable. You are always 100% enough, whether you find the courage to try new things or not.
No. What I’m saying is that doing things that scare you, because they are new, is what makes life fun. It’s what makes you feel alive, and allows you to expand who you are, which opens new doorways of opportunity for you.
All the magic of life happens here, in your expansion. And all expansion is uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. For everyone.
Hence the famous saying: “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
One of the most important things I’ve learned (and am still learning!) in my life is that being uncomfortable won’t kill me. My mind may be telling me it might, and my body may respond to that by vibrating with panic and anxiety, but I know it’s not true.
The secret is to train yourself to become less freaked out when the alarm goes off, and use practical tools to turn it down when it happens, so it doesn’t take over.
Five Tools For Dealing With Fear
- EFT on it: The fastest way to move through panic, anxiety and fear is to tap on it using something called Emotional Freedom Technique with an expert practitioner like Brad Yates on Youtube. Try this one if you are caught up in fear and anxiety right now. It helps me every time. (Look up Intro to EFT on Youtube if you want a primer first.)
- Reason with it: Divide a piece of paper in half. On one side, let fear write its story about why whatever you’re wanting to do is so dangerous or “unrealistic”. On the other side, play the opposite, optimistic role (What if it all works out? Being uncomfortable won’t kill you. Doing new things can be fun etc.).
- Meditate on it: To become much better at managing that alarm over the longer term, practice mindfulness meditation, where you observe these feelings in your body then return to your breath for 5-10 minutes per day. This will turn the alarm down over time—the “fear” vibrations in your body will become less intense and therefore much easier to manage.
- Make a mindmap: This is just a diagram you draw on a piece of paper. In the centre, write “fear” and circle it, then all around it write the words that come to mind connected with that word. Keep going until you have created a map of at least 20-30 words that will help you understand what your fear’s about (then Reason With It or EFT on it.) You can also write any insights that come up and draw lines out to them. Fear can teach us amazing things about ourselves.
- Let the vibration move through you: I recently came across a fantastic video by Marie Forleo where she interviews her husband on how he helps actors and high performers deal with stage fright. It is a whole new way of looking at your emotions that can make all of this easier, and it aligns with everything I teach in my own practice. Watch it now.
Try a few of these out and let us know how it went. Even better, share your own tools for dealing with fear in the comments below or on my Facebook page.
We all feel it dahlings! You are not alone. But it doesn’t have to hold you back.
Rise up and shine as your True Self!
Yours in truth + joy,
Shawn xo
