Quick.
What’s your number one enemy when you’re trying to make your “big vision”—what you most want to do and create—become your reality?
It’s a feeling, caused by believing in a thought (or, more often, a series of similar thoughts).
The feeling is inadequacy: “I’m not enough.” (…to have, be, do, experience what I want.)
This can lead to…
I need to be more. (panic)
How can I be more? (searching/striving)
I’ll never be more. (despair)
I don’t know how to be more. (frustration)
And not unlike a Trojan Horse virus in your computer, this “Inadequacy Virus” messes with your subconscious operating system big time.
This “mind” virus is as common as cold sores in Western culture, though almost unheard of in less competitive cultures, such as Tibet. When the Dalai Lama was first asked how people should deal with self hatred (a side effect of this virus), he squinted and said “What is that?” His translator had to repeat it to him multiple times. He had no context for it.
But we do, don’t we?
Right from grade school it’s all about the different colored ribbons (1st, 2nd, 3rd, consolation!), getting picked first or last to be on the sports team, being popular or not, getting good grades or not, measuring up to our parents’ expectations…or not.
We are taught from the beginning that “good enough” is something we have to earn, struggle to become and compete with others for. Cue the gates swinging open to allow this Trojan Horse Virus to roll in and wreak havoc on our lives.
Hey, I’ve got it too. And I’m working hard to eradicate it. Because my whole MO (modus operandi) is expansion—exploring the next highest version of myself—feeling “not enough” really cramps my style.
How about you? Let’s find out…
The “Inadequate” Virus Symptoms:
A Quiz
Count how many of the following points apply to you.
Stage 1: The Defenses Go Up
Immediately after exposure to someone who’s done something cool (that you’d like to do), your insides churn a little and you have the following types of thoughts.
- Her idea/event/book/business/mastermind group/blog post isn’t all that great; she should really be doing more of “this” or “that”.
- He doesn’t seem very enlightened. He obviously still has issues around “this” or “that”.
- She seems fake to me; if I have to be fake to be that successful, who wants it?
- Look how busy he is! He has no time to enjoy life. Who wants to be that busy? Not me.
- I know as much about “this” as she does. (Then you proceed to passionately tell your friend or lover everything you know about this topic, and especially the important points she’s missing–that are so very obvious to you. Alternatively, you post wise and witty comments on the person’s Facebook/blog post that are more about showing you know a thing or two about this than adding genuine value.
Stage 2: We Retreat to Our “Safe” Zone
- I’d love to do that sort of thing, but I don’t know how. (my fav! I use it as an excuse to endlessly research rather than taking action.)
- I’d love to do that sort of thing, but I don’t have time.
- I’d love to do that sort of thing, but I don’t have money.
- I’d love to do that sort of thing, but I need to be realistic. (Realistic: a noble way of saying “I’m scared shitless to try something new.”)
- I’d love to do that sort of thing, but it would take me years. (I’ll never catch up to those “other” people, so why try?)
Stage 3: We Comfort Ourselves With Distraction
- Never mind, my friends invited me to come out and party! (I’ll work on making my vision a reality tomorrow…)
- Never mind, my favourite TV show’s on (No way! She just married a total stranger?!)
- Never mind, happiness is this tasty late-night snack (Mmm caramel and cheddar popcorn: it’s my crack)
- Never mind, good wine fixes everything (I prefer port; it’s richer and boozier)
- Never mind, check out these videos! Oh the crazy shit cats, dogs and people do (I know you’ve watched them; the stats don’t lie)
- Never mind, I’m already doing something important; I’m watching the news. (Sigh. The world’s too far gone; I might as well just finish this bottle of wine and watch another cat video. Damn, did I finish that bag of popcorn already?)
Stage 4: We Toss and Turn in Bed, As The “Truths” Bubble Up
- I’m not happy with my life the way it is, but I’m scared to change it.
- I really want to do what she/he did, but I don’t know where to start.
- I feel like I was meant to do something greater, but what?
- I have a vision for something I want to make better in this world, but it feels too big and scary.
So….how many did you get?
If you have even one, you’ve got the virus. But don’t worry, I’ve got the cure. It ain’t fast, but it will eliminate this problem over time, and the growth and expansion you’ll experience as you transform and integrate this are all part of your ongoing adventure to explore your highest possibilities.
As I like to say: Do the work within or go without.
The Inadequacy Virus Cure
1. Identify the real problem: A secret or not-so-secret belief that you’re “inadequate” or “not enough.” No, it’s not laziness, just in case you’re worried about that. It’s because, at some point during your formative years, you took in the belief “I am not enough as I AM.”
2. Commit to solving the real problem: When you commit to something, anything, your Higher Self will begin sending you the external life lessons and support you will need to make that new thing a reality. (Be aware that some of these lessons might be uncomfortable: e.g. you might start running into more people who are pursuing their inner calling, which will challenge you to face your fears and step up.)
3. Write down your intentions and say them out loud: This is the foundation for everything. If you don’t do it, it won’t change. Your “resistance” (as Stephen Pressfield, author of The War of Art, calls it) is going to tell you this is stupid and a waste of time. This resistance comes from your False Self, which wants to keep you small and “safe”. Taking action in the face of your resistance sends a powerful message to your Higher Self that creates results.
So write down and say the following out loud, with your hand over your heart. Yes, it feels weird and awkward, but just do it–even better if you can talk yourself into doing it in front of the mirror. Remember, don’t let your resistance/False Self win!
Okay, here we go. Hand over heart. Say it aloud:
I intend to delete these 2 false thoughts from my mind: “I am inadequate” and “I am not enough.”
Because: They are not true, and they are holding me back from my greatness.
They are causing me to compare myself to others and compete with them. I want to celebrate others’ greatness and be inspired by it. I want to feel what it’s like to be the highest version of myself. I want to experience the adventure of pursuing my dreams and having them come true. I want to know what it’s like to be enough and have enough. I want to express my own unique magnificence and divinity.
I choose to deeply see and know the truth: That I am adequate and I am enough.
There is only one person exactly like me in this world. Why be a second-rate copy of someone else, when I can be a first-rate copy of myself? Why play small just because I’m afraid? Fear can’t hurt me. But if I die before I take a shot at exploring all that I can be and create, that WILL hurt. And I don’t choose to hurt my Self. I choose to love and support and believe in my Self, because I am worth it.
You can also use EFT on it. Here’s the awesome Brad Yates on Youtube helping you clear the thought: “I’m not good enough.”
Now go. Do something.
(To quote the great Seth Godin.)
Do something new that will open the door for you to learn and expand in the direction of your highest possibilities. Take baby steps if you must. But go.
And remember I’m always here for you if you want to really kick it up a notch. Helping people make their highest vision a reality (and getting clear on that highest vision) is what I do.
After you try this out, share in the comments below how it went. Did it feel empowering? Or silly? :) When I do it I feel a mix of both!
Rise and shine as your Self,
Shawn xo
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