Can we all agree that we’re freaked out by the state of the world right now? And we’re not sure what we can actually do that will have any impact?
So…we can totally forgive ourselves for often feeling like giving up and just playing with our cell phones or obsessing over TV sitcoms, or just plain creating too much drama in our lives to have any time to think about it.
(My thing is documentaries. I feel all noble and shit that I’m spending my time watching people solve the world’s problems, even though I’m completely aware that I’m not doing anything more than someone watching Orange is the New Black. And, yes, I’ve heard it’s a good show.)
But, when we turn off the TV or whatever, the real world is still here—and, like it or not, it’s a world we’re creating together.
The Problem With Knowing It All
Anyway, after a number of wasted years thinking the answer to a better world was basically for it to be what I thought it should be (because, hey, I’m evolved; I know all the answers right?), I realized that this approach doesn’t actually work. A big part of the problem is that it assumes I know the answer.
During my first year of running a charity in Laos, I made a number of awkward faux pas in this area (one led to me having to personally serve about 20 disgruntled men shots of moonshine as penance—truth).
Fortunately, I learned to bring in the community to integrate their ideas, beliefs and needs, but I also saw other (sometimes major, respected) charities make a major mess out of things because they were SURE they knew the answer to a local problem and, though it looked great on paper, it had a bunch of weird side effects they never intended.
Since then, I’ve thought it would be a fun experiment if everyone could see a preview of their so-called solution to the world’s problems. For example, alongside my more spiritual ideas of everyone being kind and compassionate, I’d like there to be bakeries on every corner that hand out free cookies. (Don’t judge.)
The thing is: people have been trying to force everyone else to do what they’re SURE is right for centuries. And it doesn’t work.
We can’t change other people or “the world” (i.e. lots of people) by trying to force our ideas on others, even if those ideas are brilliant. We can only change the world (i.e. other people) by changing ourselves.
Before you shrug me off (i.e. close this box), let me explain my thinking.
The ecosystems of the world matter, but we can only change them if we change the ecosystem inside of us first. As inside, also outside. Then, and only then, can we stand up in the world and make real change—by being that change ourselves. Like Gandhi. Or Nelson Mandela. First inside, then outside.
When a mother yells at her child to stop yelling, she is part of the problem, not the solution. So, when we yell at the world (or our family or partner) for not being what we want, we are part of the problem, not the solution.
The way to change what’s outside of us is to change what’s inside. Tweet
If we want real change, we need to begin doing the hard work of developing awareness of our inner ecosystems—what causes the most emotional storms? Where are they happening in your body? For example, where do you feel your anger (in your body) at “the world”? or at all those “cruel heartless unenlightened people” who aren’t doing what you believe they should? Or at me right now (ha)?
And what’s under the anger? (I’ll give you a hint: it’s pain).
You think it’s caused by an outside event, but that event is just triggering unprocessed pain inside of you.
The Bottom Line
If we really want to change the world, we need to start sitting with our own unprocessed emotions—our own pain—even if it’s only a for a minutes a day. Get to know it; make friends with it. It feels terrible and uncomfortable, but it can’t actually hurt you; it’s only information.
As someone who has spent the past 13 years learning how to sit with and process old pain, I can say it’s not fun and it’s not easy, but it makes my world better—doors open that were previously closed, happiness happens without trying to create it. I can help people in ways that I couldn’t even dream of before. It’s like stepping into a parallel life. It reduces struggle and makes it possible for you to begin living at your highest potential.
Because seriously, how can you live at your highest potential if there are shitstorms going on inside of you all the time? Ain’t gonna happen.
Do the mindfulness meditation or journalling or self-contemplative walks or whatever, then go out and change the world.
By doing that, you will step into your true power and live your purpose—this means, you will be able to contribute your unique gifts toward the support of the whole at your full capacity.
If enough of us learn how to do this, we will finally have the power to begin creating the kind of world we really want to live in.
What are your thoughts?
What tools have you used to process any unhealed pain? Did it improve your ability to make real change in the world?
I look forward to reading your comments. And please share this post with anyone else you know who wants to change the world.
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