What’s your purpose?
It’s your passion, right? Stuff you enjoy doing?
Kind of. But you probably enjoy doing lots of different stuff.
Your purpose is like the “north” on your life compass that guides you to focus on which of that stuff you’re going to invest your time and energy into to get the best results and live toward your highest potential.
What can help is to look at the root of the word “passion”. It comes from a latin word that means “to suffer”. So your purpose—your real passion—is that thing that you care about so much that you are willing to suffer to make it manifest in this world (and by “suffer” I mean work hard, even when you don’t feel like it).
While your purpose is the higher thing your life is committed to and organized around, it’s really about becoming more deeply and unapologetically yourself.
Your “life purpose” is not a thing you do. It’s who you really are, expressing yourself in a way that makes this world better.
Here’s a simple graphic I created to make my point:
What’s a Life Purpose and How Do I Find It?
How to Find Your Life Purpose
- Being in The Flow: Write down two different times in your life when you felt confident and happy all-at-once; where things just flowed. Scribble on a nearby napkin if that’s all you’ve got, and don’t worry about perfect sentences. (For me: One was my book launch, where over 100 people showed up and it turned into this beautiful party where everyone was eating together and sharing ideas; another was speaking at an indie music festival I founded.)
- The Common Denominator: Now, write down what those two things had in common. (For me: The common denominator was creating a space where magic happens.)
- The Secret Ingredient: Anger: Next, write down the main thing in life that gets you really fired up; it makes you feel angry because you want to change it but aren’t sure how. List a few if you aren’t sure of the main one, then circle the one that speaks loudest to you. (For me: It’s when people say or do hurtful things to themselves or others because of a lack of self understanding.)
- The Secret Source of That Anger: Here’s the tricky one. I want you to go back to your childhood—just remember the best you can, I know it’s challenging—and write down the first time you ever felt angry about #3. Was it in a classroom after something a teacher said? After something that happened with a parent, a sibling or a friend? When was the first time? It will be something with a powerful emotional charge. (For me: It was my father yelling at me for accidentally cutting my foot on a sharp piece of metal he should have put away.)
- Putting It Together: Create three circles. In the first, write your common denominator. In the second, write what makes you most angry in this world. In the third, write down your memory of the first time you can remember feeling that way. Read these carefully, knowing they are all connected, even if you may not see the connection right now. Start playing with possiblities, and carry this paper around with you so you can write down any new ideas when they come up.
- Test It: Once you have an answer, a good way to test it is to make a shortlist of the people who interest and inspire you most in the world (including historical figures). Usually your life purpose will be similar to theirs in some way. My list includes: Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and Oprah Winfrey. The common thread for me is: people who are self-guided. They are living their highest potential from a place of inner guidance and self trust.
Here’s the key to everything: Your deepest, most buried pain always points to your purpose.
Two Examples of regular people finding and living their purpose that I’ve come across recently…
Justin Klosky. People in Hollywood hire this guy to organize their lives. His purpose: helping people feel safe and enjoy their lives, by removing all the clutter that’s dragging them down. How was this created? His pain, of course. He was sexually abused when he was 11 by someone taking care of him. After that he had such an intense need to control everything around him to feel safe that he developed ADHD and OCD. His book: Organize and Create Discipline tells his story (and is a pretty awesome guide to organizing your life as well!).
Noy Thrupkaew. This inspiring woman is a successful journalist who strives to report on people who are being trafficked or exploited (and change the underlying systems that make it possible). Why? Because when she was three years old her beloved caretaker was horribly beaten and abused in front of her—she was a victim of human trafficking. The thing is: she didn’t remember what happened to her until she went to a therapist. She was already living her purpose, but after that she understood why, and that made even more motivated. Watch her inspiring TED talk here. Noy Thrupkaew
Be patient. This is an exploratory journey. It’s challenging without a guide but, if you stick with it, insights will come through for you. When I help my clients in our initial 1/2 day session, I use my intuitive gifts and 16+ years of expertise in understanding life story narratives to explore and test different experiences and avenues before I feel certain I’ve uncovered the real deal. Here, I’m trying to share a mini, simplified version of my process with you for free.
- Share any insights you had while doing this “life experiment” in the Comments Section below. You never know whose life will be uplifted by your having the courage to share!
- If you feel you gained value from this post, please share it with your friends! If you know about the butterfly effect, then you know that just by sharing positive posts like this, you may end up changing someone’s life for the better.
- It taps you into your purpose + life's calling.
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